In the midst of culturally advanced people, a discussion often arises: whether the Creator of All Things has a sense of humor or not. The question remains open. But he has no conscience and did not have, that’s for sure. Otherwise, no vandellia would exist in nature.


Meet. Order Siluriformes, family Pygididae. Catfish Vandellia is a muck three to four millimeters wide and about five centimeters long, transparent as jelly. The bastard Vandellia lives in South America, although, according to some ichthyologists, any warm non-freezing water bodies are suitable for its habitat. So, if desired, Vandellia can be comfortably placed in the south of Europe, and in Asia, and in Africa, and whoever does this will be the greatest terrorist of all times and peoples, surpassing Lenin and Bin Laden. Vandellia swims and sniffs in places where large mammals congregate, such as watering holes and beaches. It has receptors on its snout that respond to the smell of urea. Smelling the scent of urine, vandellia rushes to the source of the fragrance and crawls into the urinary canal. It has bone hooks on the gills, with the help of which it clings to the walls of the canal and attaches to them so tightly that it is impossible to remove the vandellia from there. Sitting in the penis, Vandellia twirls rips the body around with hooks and feeds on the blood flowing into the mouth – the victim is experiencing hellish torments at this time. It is possible to remove Vandellia only with the help of a complex surgical operation. However, the natives of the Amazon fight with a cute fish with the help of an infusion of poisonous plants, in a pot with which they lower the injured organ. This is not good for the penis – the poison corrodes the skin, which leads to the intoxication of the body, but the vandellia dies, and its carcass decomposes and dissolves in a few days. And Aboriginal people never, never urinate in water – this is the best way to attract flocks of Vandellas.

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